After Supper

Sometimes I don't know what has changed, I just know there has been an change, a freeing, or at least an allowance of grace for an undetermined amount of time. When you get to a point where you are satisfied enough with your life to be comfortable, there you find your hardest tests. Past example: Any time I was ever in a relationship it would always start off so great because it was a new experience and it was a different kind of joy than I experience alone. The comfort of a good relationship would make me relax, and there is where I would fall behind. I'd just get lazy I guess, or apathetic. Lose some zeal and passion for doing good things, or doing creative things. Don't worry, I know grasping for someone or some end product is not where my joy should lie, but as humans we do have a few impulses, and some learned want. A present example of the downfall of comfort is where I am right now. I'm a lot happier than when I arrived here; please see my first few blogs. I'm in a job and I am getting paid to do a few things with lots of flexible time. It would be easy for me to get up and get the client ready in an hour and then do nothing until lunch, then do nothing until supper and then nothing until bed at 9pm, with a few toilet stops in there here and there. I also could cook things more basic, but I enjoy putting in a bit of effort. Enough said about that before I claim my glory now, rather than waiting for post-physical reward. I imagine this is a similar problem for writers and other creators. The fact that you are being paid is enough to pacify the impulsive need to feel useful. I don't know that everyone has this, but I get all antsie after I've been off work for a while and haven't done anything with my time. It is the same principle Jesus was talking about when he said it would be harder for a rich man to get into heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Matthew 19: 24 Mark 10:25 Luke 18:25 http://cf.blueletterbible.org/search/translationResults.cfm?Criteria=needle&t=NASB&sf=5 Now, my friend Christie informed me that the term eye of a needle is not what we think of today. She was over in that old land and she learned that the eye of a needle was something like a gateway into a city or something like that, I don't know exactly, and the camels had to go through it on their knees? Question mark because now I'm not remembering all the details. All I know is this example of a rich man getting into heaven is a difficult task, but it's not like birthing a wheel barrel or any such analogy. If you're not following me at this point, here is what I'm saying. When life is comfortable you can get by alright on your own, and you don't seek your creator with the same fervor. When you are down and out, or on your death bed, you want something to comfort you, and that is where you become so delicate and sensitive to every little thing you do. We want to be as good as gold so that we are chosen for a randomly drawn miracle, but we can also use this time to determine what things we need in our lives and what we can do without. Part of being good, or on point, is for a more practical benefit. When I'm in a bad place I need to give myself every advantage I can, and that is why I eliminate certain things, because when I consider them they don't reflect any light into my life, and I heaves it. Example? Television. Television is just no good. It's okay every now and then, and I even got into watching it a few days in a row last week, but it takes the life out of me. Video games can be a bad one to. The extra kicker you get with video games is that I am not only becoming apathetic and melancholy, I may also become irritable if I'm stuck on something. when life is good you can afford this apathy, and you can afford to indulge in something that isn't of value to you, and in fact may be harmful to your blood pressure. However, just because you can afford it doesn't mean it's a good idea, and that is why I learn from my down times what I should stay away from even when every thing's fine. These things are still detrimental, but you just don't notice the detriment, and this is how things can get blocked up, or balled up, piled up. The snowball effect. Effect or Affect? I'm not good with that one. You are affected by special effects? Aside from this English lesson, this is all theory, but then again so are the natural sciences. In closing I would just like to say thank you, to all the people who contributed to my misery. Honestly though, I hope you laughed at that line. The picture at the top is a quick shot I took of the filed where I go for a run. There are two huge fields next to one another and I didn't take too many pictures because the field I was standing in had kids playing in it on some playground equipment, and I wasn't too keen on coming across as the new pedophile in town. There was a special on the news two nights ago about a new law in London that allows park security to question anyone who is looking "Suspicious". Sited as an example was a charity campaigner who was dressed up in a mascot costume. Seriously though, they could have anything under the shell of one of those things. Before I end up finding my Blog flagged by government officials, I'm going to take off and do what I do. I get a round tetly tea bag in my cup.