This One Is About Some Thoughts That You Might Not Care For

Sometimes I'll put a picture up that has nothing to do with the current blog, just because I happen to have it on hand. <------ Just so you know, this might be an uninteresting read because it's not about any of my adventures. It's about some reflection and thoughts about making this move, so if you are interested in a surface understanding of me then you wont have a fun time reading this. It's not "deep" or anything, but it's just a lot of talk.

I did it. I made a move across the pond in search of adventure, excitement, knowledge, a fresh breath of something that I could never get back home. Sure there are different theories on why I left St. John’s and moved to London-ish areas, and I would have to say it was a conglomeration of different nudgings and pokes that unsettled my roots. I’ll be home; I love my city, but I’m 26, which is a pretty irrelevant point now that I think about it. My age has nothing to do with the move, but rather the move has more to do with my need to see something before I call it in and start working on a city life with a career and a house and all that rubbish. Some people wish they had taken an adventure, or got outside there cubby hole, while others never left their home town but found beautiful lives and purpose where they were. However, I have yet to encounter someone who made a move, got outside and lived to regret it. Sure some people leave and within the first three weeks they are so home sick that they move right back home, but at least they got outside and discover that, and when they went home I bet everything they loved meant more to them once they knew what life was like without. I would even challenge this group in saying that they didn’t give the outside enough of a chance. When I got here I was unhappy. I don’t want to generalize too much so I will talk about this as a personal account and if you relate to it then maybe you fall into the same category as me. When I arrived it was fun for the first two days, and then some realities started to settle in. I wash showering in a strange shower and sleeping in a room I had never seen before, yet it was my room. Not only did I have a whole new set of stimuli coming in to process, I also had a great massive void where all my familiarities used to sit in my brain. Where once a consistent and routine set of neurons would fire I now had silence. I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between the different facets of my being, but then again I have also been told that I have more understand than some and that I just need to stop doubting everything I decide. I’m going to try describing what I’m talking about in as short a way as possible because the human makeup is not something I care to dissect or claim to understand in whole. However, I will take a little crack at it for descriptive purposes. I am made up of body, mind, soul, and as Pete tells me, spirit. I don’t know the distinction between spirit and soul so I will stay away from that bit and leave it to my scholarly friend. Within my body there are all sorts of facets affecting one another, so the biological affects the biological. The biological also affects the mental, the mind, as what you eat will affect the way you feel. Anyone who has ever eaten one of my smoothies will tell you they feel refreshed, and in the same way, anyone who has ever eaten E pills will tell you just about anything. The mental influences the Spiritual as our choices affect the outcome of our soul. The spiritual affects the spiritual as our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the evil forces and dark rulers of this world (Ephesians 6: 12) http://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/Eph/Eph006.html#12 . This also expresses the influence spiritual has over the mental and the physical, or biological. For those scientists out there who are not concerned with this spiritual bit, you’re going to have to bare with me because this is my blog and I’m talking facts as far as I’m concerned. So what else do we have?... well there are a whole lot of influences and factors to counter in when considering ones personal state.

So, I’m over in London trying to find a job and a life and missing home but understanding why I am feeling the way I am feeling. See, when I went out tree planting I would feel unsettled for the first couple weeks or so and I would often get stressed out and think I should have stayed home. I would be sick thinking about the 3 month commitment I had made to stay in the woods, and how it didn’t feel like the year before. The thing is you need to give your mind time to adapt, and this thing people call being home sick is not what I once thought it was. Though I was in a place that I wanted to be I would wake up feeling odd, not right. By the time I got into the middle of my day i would be fine, but you have to give your brain time to adapt. It’s the mental bit that is being affected by the physical. New stinuli, and lack of old ones is messing with the neurons and in turn is messing with feelings and emotions, state of mind etc. I know at this point in my writing that my mother and father are feeling well anxious, but I understand that these bits of anxiety are just an aside to growth, and that is why I could live with not feeling like myself, knowing it would pass. The thing is I always tend to look for reasons why I am feeling the way I am, and I often I don’t find reasons, or just ow it up to lack of sleep, or even worse, blame my feelings on something else.

I’m starting to get tired of writing now and I would rather stop then continue on with something that is missing pieces. I’ll just sum up a few things I was thinking when I started to write this. I’m glad I came, I know I’m not going to find all the answers to life over here, my age is not significant because I could have done this right out of high school, or I could do it in my 60’s. I just know that right now I had no reason not to, and no commitments that I felt could not be passed on. I don’t have any babies or wife or mortgage, and I know for sure that I would not feel content settling into my city without getting outside of it first. I’m not a big fan of regret so I try to make sure it doesn’t interfere with my life too much.

So that is what was on my mind tonight, and if you were brave enough to stick around until the end, well, I hope it was a fun time. I’m not into reading blogs, but maybe I would be if something caught my interest, or maybe I just haven’t given them a chance. Thanks for coming out kids.